Top Dead Center – I

Scene One

FELLA (off stage)

Hello?  Yeah.  Yeah, it went fine.  What? I. I can’t. Look, I can’t hear. Ok. Look, I’ll be back tomorrow. Tomorrow. No tomorrow.  Damn it.

 

     (FELLA enters, MYRAS is seated)

 

Hey there pal.  You’re open?  You’re open right?  They said, at the diner they said that you’d be open. 

MYRAS

You lost?

FELLA

Lost?

MYRAS

Off course.

FELLA

No. Not at all.  Just getting off the Interstate.  Anyway, my engine light came on.  You know.  The little red light with the little picture of an engine on it?  It came on.  Unbelievable. I have another few hundred miles to go and I figured I better be safe than sorry.

MYRAS

You figured.

FELLA

Yeah. Well, anyway, I need to get back, and they told me at that diner that you would be here.  They said, go see Myras up the hill.  Said you did top notch work.  Top notch they said.

Top Dead Center

 

a one-act play

 

 

CAST

Fella:    Successful executive

Myras:    Small-town auto mechanic

 

TIME

Now

 

PLACE

The yard in front of Myras’ garage.  A lawnchair, a cellular phone, a case of beer, two sections of automobile tail pipe, a mailbag.

 

Is it The Reflector or The Director

Mean Gene (end)

Scene 20

(Pequod’s, later, dawn)

 

(on phone)

Yeah, is this the desk sergeant?  Yes sir.  I want to report that I beat my brother’s brains out with a pipe-wrench.  Because that’s what I did.  No, he’s laying on the floor behind the bar.  About four hours ago.  I had to run an errand, but I’m back now.  He’s still dead so what do you fucking care?  Pequod’s, Pequod’s Bar and Grill on Blue Island.  You know the spot.

 

Yep.  I’ll wait.  I’ll be glad to.  You know what?  Let me tell you.  Get Tommy Finn.  You know him?  Lieutenant Tom Finn.  Have him come here.  He should be getting on duty pretty soon.  Yeah, tell him.  Tell him Gene Hammond over at Pequod’s just beat his brother’s brains out with a pipe wrench.

 

We’re old friends, me and Tom Finn.  We used to deal together back in the day.  Well, I used to deal for him that is.  He’d bust dealers and take their junk and sell it to me, see.  Then I’d sell it and cut him back some of the profit.  Double-dipping cocksucker.  He made it hand over fist.

 

But see, I messed up.  I got greedy, started thinking I was a rock star.  That’s the mistake.  I got nabbed, but Finn, hell, you know how connected that guy is.

 

Is that him?  Is he patched in?  Hey Tommy!  I was just telling the good sergeant about how you and me did business.  Don’t worry though, I didn’t tell him how you’re still fucking dirty as the day is long.  How you still run all those operations at the schools.  You’re a prince Tommy, getting those kids hooked nice and early.  Smart businessman.

 

You still there lieutenant?  You on the way?  You coming to straighten things out?  You should see Tinker.  His head looks like.  It looks like.  You should see him, Tommy.  Just like the old days.  Remember when we’d shake those Puerto Ricans, and those spades over at Stateway?  Just like that, Tom.  Just like that.  I caved his fucking head right in.

 

Come on lieutenant.  You’re supposed to be here within four minutes.  I’m waiting.  I ain’t going nowhere.  Hello?  Tommy?

 

All I wanted was some breathing room.  Half a break.  But that’s too much to fucking ask.  Too much.  It comes down to this.   You cripples.   You miserable pricks.  It comes down to this.

 

(GLASS SHATTERS, lights dim)

 

Took you long enough.

 

(GUN SHOTS)

 

 

- end of play -

Mean Gene

Scene 19

(bus station, later that same night)

 

GENE

I had no idea it would play out like this kid.  Believe me on that.  So you’re gonna get on this goddamn bus and head up to Michigan.  When you get there, you get a little room at some shitty little motel, and you get some frozen pizzas and some Cokes and Doritos and whatever, and you just wait for me.  I’ll be up two or three days behind you.

 

I need you to go tonight Davey.  Nothing’s wrong.  Nothing’s wrong, I just, for everyone’s sake.  Trust me on this.  I need you to trust me and not smart-mouth or any bullshit for once.  Just, here.  This is like two grand.  This will last you a while.  A good while.  Just in case.  In case I’m more than three days or whatever.  Don’t piss it away. 

 

Just get to Michigan, get to the motel and hang out.  Sure, make sure it has cable.  And a pool.  Don’t call nobody either.  Don’t even, just rip the goddamn phone out of the wall.  Then you wait.  I’ll find you.  I’m going to the same goddamn place.  Just get a motel near the bus station.  How hard can that be?  Find a room and stay off the fucking phone and watch fucking cable TV.  Is that so fucking impossible?

 

Okay.  So get on the goddamn bus.  I’ll be along soon.  I’ll be along and we’ll sort everything out and we’ll have a good time kid.  They got great titty bars in Michigan.  And fireworks are legal.  Just wait kid.  Get on the damn bus.  Get the fuck on the goddamn bus already you little piece of shit. 

 

(lights dim)

Marriott Owns the Stones

Mean Gene

Scene 18 (con’t)

What the fuck do you want me to do, pretend this situation doesn’t exist?  Because it fucking does Tinker.  And if that kid gets hurt, or worse.  Imagine that Tinker.  You can live with that?  I can’t.  I know I can’t.

 

I ain’t laying shit on you Tinker.  I’m just explaining the situation.  I real fucking sorry, but you know what you asshole? I’m your brother and he’s your nephew and there’s where we’re fucking at.  Am I not supposed to ask you for help?  You got the money little brother. 

 

You’re the goddamn success story of the family and I need your help.  Just don’t choose now to come down on me with this life-lesson shit.  I’m talking about my kid here.  Remember, when you gave his mother a couple hundred so many years ago?  And don’t tell me that was out of the kindness of your heart.  I know how she worked.  I know how she was.  I know you made her earn it you greedy piece of shit.

 

I can raise my fucking voice Tinker.  I’m you’re goddamn older brother.  I’m the one protected you, you little shit.  When the old man came home.  You don’t even remember it.  I’m the one Tinker.  I’m the one.  You started crying, I put you under the damn stairs.  He’d come home pissed to Jesus, mom’s dead three years by then.  Who’s left?  Me, that’s right you ungrateful shit.  He’d a bounced you off the wall like a billiard shot.  I got in his way.  I took the shots.  I took the belt.

 

I never said goddamn word one about it.  I just ate it up and let you run your precious tavern while I watched you and you know what I always thought?  Do you?  Good thing you were there Geno, that’s what I thought.  Good thing you were there or baby Tinker would have been a fucking hood ornament.

 

I saved your weepy fucking ass.  Me.  You wouldn’t be here to give me your fucking looks if I hadn’t been there and that’s the fucking facts.  So now, now after all this goddamn time I want one little fucking favor.  I want you to help me for once.  I want you to help me.  But that’s asking too much, ain’t it.  I’m asking too much.  One good Friday night Tink.  I gave you all these fucking years, and you can’t even give me one good Friday night. Can you?

 

(grabs pipe-wrench, starts swinging)

 

You ungrateful prick.  You fucking miserable cocksucker.  No, you can’t do that.

 

Round Lake.  It was Round Lake.  It was Round Lake.

 

(lights dim)

Tres Guitarristas

Mean Gene

Scene 18

(Pequod’s, after close)

 

GENE

Good night, huh Tink?  Good night.  I bet we rung close to two, maybe two and a half, huh?  Good night.

 

Listen, Tink.  I gotta ask.  I think I.  Davey’s in trouble Tink.  I think he got himself into a real situation.  A couple of these local characters.  He pulled some antics at school.  You know.  Selling a little, like we used to do.

 

Thing is Tink, I think he pissed some people off.  Some important people.  They’re pissed and I think the kid could get hurt.

 

So I’m thinking maybe we could.  Me and his bigshot uncle, we could send him someplace for a little while.  I don’t know how he got into that much trouble, but he’s in it Tink.  Got some people mad at him.

 

Maybe if you and me, we could scrounge up a couple grand.  He could get out of town, stay at a campground or something for a little while.  I could go with him, you know, just for like the first few days.

 

Don’t look at me like that Tinker.  Don’t fucking look at me like that.  I fucking get it.  I get it.  I’m a huge fuck-up. Fine.  I’m a huge fuck-up and you’re the goddamn choir boy who figured out how to do things right.

Mean Gene

Scene 17

(Pequod’s, afternoon)

 

(PHONE RINGS)

 

GENE

Pequod’s.  Hello Lieutenant.  You’ve been one busy public servant Tom.  Keeping the streets safe.

 

Right to the point, huh?  No.  No.  I told the kid.  We had it out.  I told him.  I ordered him.  Augie?  Augie?!  Fuck him.  He’s lying Tom.  What do you mean he’s there?  He’s in the room?

 

You fat prick.  You fat gutless cocksucker!  I told you to—

Shut up.  Will you shut the fuck up?  What’d you do Aug?  You gave up Davey?  You gave up the kid?  Business is business my ass you sonofabitch.  You better hope he keeps you there.  You better.  You’re done Augie.  You take whatever deal but you head for the fucking hills.

 

Yeah.  Listen Tom, listen.  I don’t know what you did to him.  He’s a lowlife Tom.  A maggot.  You know well as me that that fat fuck is gonna say anything.  Tom.  Come on.  Look, whatever you have cooked up, we’re totally out of the way.  Completely.

Of course that’s not what Augie says, Tom!  You got his balls in the ringer!  Tommy, even if, even if he was telling the truth.  How much Tom, how much out of your pocket?  A couple hundred a week?

 

No.  No way Tom.  No way we were making that much.  Notice I said were.  Because it’s in the past.  Because it’s done!  I told Davey to knock it off three months ago at least Tommy.  Your sources.  Your sources. 

 

No way Tommy.  Absolutely no way.  I know better.  You told me to knock it off, that’s the first thing I told him.  I basically beat it into his head.  If he’s still at work then I, I don’t know a thing about it Tom.  Hand to god Tom.  This is me.  This is me from the old days. 

 

Little bastard.  Look Tom.  He is just a kid.  Just a kid.  Like any of us at that age.  All we cared about was getting high and getting laid.  All that money.  Can you blame him?  Can you?

 

So cut him a break.  I’ll lay into him for real this time.  I’ll beat the balls off of him.  We’re done.  He’s done, I mean.

 

What the hell is that gonna solve?  What’s that gonna prove Tommy?!  It makes no sense.  It’s out of your hands?  Out of your hands?  You piece of shit.  Tommy, let’s not let it come to this.  Let’s not.  I got stories to tell.  I got stories. 

 

The kid’s just a kid.  Okay.  Play it that way lieutenant.  Play it that way.  The kid’s just a kid.  And business is business.

 

(lights down)