Mean Gene

Scene 19

(bus station, later that same night)

 

GENE

I had no idea it would play out like this kid.  Believe me on that.  So you’re gonna get on this goddamn bus and head up to Michigan.  When you get there, you get a little room at some shitty little motel, and you get some frozen pizzas and some Cokes and Doritos and whatever, and you just wait for me.  I’ll be up two or three days behind you.

 

I need you to go tonight Davey.  Nothing’s wrong.  Nothing’s wrong, I just, for everyone’s sake.  Trust me on this.  I need you to trust me and not smart-mouth or any bullshit for once.  Just, here.  This is like two grand.  This will last you a while.  A good while.  Just in case.  In case I’m more than three days or whatever.  Don’t piss it away. 

 

Just get to Michigan, get to the motel and hang out.  Sure, make sure it has cable.  And a pool.  Don’t call nobody either.  Don’t even, just rip the goddamn phone out of the wall.  Then you wait.  I’ll find you.  I’m going to the same goddamn place.  Just get a motel near the bus station.  How hard can that be?  Find a room and stay off the fucking phone and watch fucking cable TV.  Is that so fucking impossible?

 

Okay.  So get on the goddamn bus.  I’ll be along soon.  I’ll be along and we’ll sort everything out and we’ll have a good time kid.  They got great titty bars in Michigan.  And fireworks are legal.  Just wait kid.  Get on the damn bus.  Get the fuck on the goddamn bus already you little piece of shit. 

 

(lights dim)

Mean Gene

Scene 18 (con’t)

What the fuck do you want me to do, pretend this situation doesn’t exist?  Because it fucking does Tinker.  And if that kid gets hurt, or worse.  Imagine that Tinker.  You can live with that?  I can’t.  I know I can’t.

 

I ain’t laying shit on you Tinker.  I’m just explaining the situation.  I real fucking sorry, but you know what you asshole? I’m your brother and he’s your nephew and there’s where we’re fucking at.  Am I not supposed to ask you for help?  You got the money little brother. 

 

You’re the goddamn success story of the family and I need your help.  Just don’t choose now to come down on me with this life-lesson shit.  I’m talking about my kid here.  Remember, when you gave his mother a couple hundred so many years ago?  And don’t tell me that was out of the kindness of your heart.  I know how she worked.  I know how she was.  I know you made her earn it you greedy piece of shit.

 

I can raise my fucking voice Tinker.  I’m you’re goddamn older brother.  I’m the one protected you, you little shit.  When the old man came home.  You don’t even remember it.  I’m the one Tinker.  I’m the one.  You started crying, I put you under the damn stairs.  He’d come home pissed to Jesus, mom’s dead three years by then.  Who’s left?  Me, that’s right you ungrateful shit.  He’d a bounced you off the wall like a billiard shot.  I got in his way.  I took the shots.  I took the belt.

 

I never said goddamn word one about it.  I just ate it up and let you run your precious tavern while I watched you and you know what I always thought?  Do you?  Good thing you were there Geno, that’s what I thought.  Good thing you were there or baby Tinker would have been a fucking hood ornament.

 

I saved your weepy fucking ass.  Me.  You wouldn’t be here to give me your fucking looks if I hadn’t been there and that’s the fucking facts.  So now, now after all this goddamn time I want one little fucking favor.  I want you to help me for once.  I want you to help me.  But that’s asking too much, ain’t it.  I’m asking too much.  One good Friday night Tink.  I gave you all these fucking years, and you can’t even give me one good Friday night. Can you?

 

(grabs pipe-wrench, starts swinging)

 

You ungrateful prick.  You fucking miserable cocksucker.  No, you can’t do that.

 

Round Lake.  It was Round Lake.  It was Round Lake.

 

(lights dim)

Mean Gene

Scene 18

(Pequod’s, after close)

 

GENE

Good night, huh Tink?  Good night.  I bet we rung close to two, maybe two and a half, huh?  Good night.

 

Listen, Tink.  I gotta ask.  I think I.  Davey’s in trouble Tink.  I think he got himself into a real situation.  A couple of these local characters.  He pulled some antics at school.  You know.  Selling a little, like we used to do.

 

Thing is Tink, I think he pissed some people off.  Some important people.  They’re pissed and I think the kid could get hurt.

 

So I’m thinking maybe we could.  Me and his bigshot uncle, we could send him someplace for a little while.  I don’t know how he got into that much trouble, but he’s in it Tink.  Got some people mad at him.

 

Maybe if you and me, we could scrounge up a couple grand.  He could get out of town, stay at a campground or something for a little while.  I could go with him, you know, just for like the first few days.

 

Don’t look at me like that Tinker.  Don’t fucking look at me like that.  I fucking get it.  I get it.  I’m a huge fuck-up. Fine.  I’m a huge fuck-up and you’re the goddamn choir boy who figured out how to do things right.

Mean Gene

Scene 17

(Pequod’s, afternoon)

 

(PHONE RINGS)

 

GENE

Pequod’s.  Hello Lieutenant.  You’ve been one busy public servant Tom.  Keeping the streets safe.

 

Right to the point, huh?  No.  No.  I told the kid.  We had it out.  I told him.  I ordered him.  Augie?  Augie?!  Fuck him.  He’s lying Tom.  What do you mean he’s there?  He’s in the room?

 

You fat prick.  You fat gutless cocksucker!  I told you to—

Shut up.  Will you shut the fuck up?  What’d you do Aug?  You gave up Davey?  You gave up the kid?  Business is business my ass you sonofabitch.  You better hope he keeps you there.  You better.  You’re done Augie.  You take whatever deal but you head for the fucking hills.

 

Yeah.  Listen Tom, listen.  I don’t know what you did to him.  He’s a lowlife Tom.  A maggot.  You know well as me that that fat fuck is gonna say anything.  Tom.  Come on.  Look, whatever you have cooked up, we’re totally out of the way.  Completely.

Of course that’s not what Augie says, Tom!  You got his balls in the ringer!  Tommy, even if, even if he was telling the truth.  How much Tom, how much out of your pocket?  A couple hundred a week?

 

No.  No way Tom.  No way we were making that much.  Notice I said were.  Because it’s in the past.  Because it’s done!  I told Davey to knock it off three months ago at least Tommy.  Your sources.  Your sources. 

 

No way Tommy.  Absolutely no way.  I know better.  You told me to knock it off, that’s the first thing I told him.  I basically beat it into his head.  If he’s still at work then I, I don’t know a thing about it Tom.  Hand to god Tom.  This is me.  This is me from the old days. 

 

Little bastard.  Look Tom.  He is just a kid.  Just a kid.  Like any of us at that age.  All we cared about was getting high and getting laid.  All that money.  Can you blame him?  Can you?

 

So cut him a break.  I’ll lay into him for real this time.  I’ll beat the balls off of him.  We’re done.  He’s done, I mean.

 

What the hell is that gonna solve?  What’s that gonna prove Tommy?!  It makes no sense.  It’s out of your hands?  Out of your hands?  You piece of shit.  Tommy, let’s not let it come to this.  Let’s not.  I got stories to tell.  I got stories. 

 

The kid’s just a kid.  Okay.  Play it that way lieutenant.  Play it that way.  The kid’s just a kid.  And business is business.

 

(lights down)

Mean Gene

Scene 16

(bus station ticket window, day)

 

GENE

Yeah.  I need two tickets to Michigan.  No, not Detroit.  Closer than that. It’s one of those medium cities, in the middle.  No.  Shit.  It’s near a lake.  Round Lake?  What’s the closest city to Round Lake?

 

Well look on your map.  You don’t have a map?  I thought so.  Well I’m real sorry to make you do your job lady.  Just look up fucking Round Lake on the fucking map.

 

It’s near Ann Arbor.  I think.  Around that area.  Well it may not be the biggest fucking lake in the state lady.  Round Lake.  Round.  Maybe it’s Roundhouse or something.  Fine.  Fucking fine.  Just give me two tickets to Ann Arbor and I’ll fucking find it when I get up there myself.

 

Christ.  Thank you.  Thank you very much.

 

(lights dim)

Mean Gene

Scene 15

(confessional)

 

GENE

I haven’t done this in a while.  I bet you figured that.  Well.  I been bad enough.  I sold dope to kids and had relations with lots of women, girls really.  That was long ago.

 

I’m trying to sort it out.  I want to do right.  I never hurt nobody on purpose.  I just wanted to have some good times.  Why not, right?  But now.  How the hell?  I never asked for any of this.

 

Is this how it works?  Talk about what a big fuck-up I am and you just sit there in the dark and listen?  Lemme tell you father, nobody really thinks they do anything wrong.  Even when they’re saying it, they’re not really thinking it.  Way back in that high corner of your brain, that’s where the voice is.  The one that says you’re right and everyone else is fucked up.

I got that voice.  It’s big and been calling the shots for me for a long time.  How are you supposed to ignore that voice?  How are you supposed to pretend?  The last time I did this, what was I, twelve?  I made some shit up even then.  I said I wanted my dad to be happy.  To come home happy.

 

You told me to tell you.  That’s what you said.  You said it would make things better.  That I’d feel better.  So I told you and I felt worse.  You said I’d feel better but I felt worse.  How many Hail fucking Mary’s is that good for?

 

(lights dim)

Mean Gene

Scene 14

(Pequod’s, day)

 

GENE

(on phone)

Davey.  Hey.  It’s dad.  I didn’t think you’d pick up.  Because I thought they didn’t allow you to have your cell in school is why.  What do you mean?  What the hell are you doing there?  Because it’s eleven fucking thirty and you should be at school.

 

Are you fucking stoned?  Don’t bullshit me Davey.  Because I’ll call the goddamn school and tell them where you and all your little scumbag pals are hanging out.  What?  You little punk.  You don’t even dream of talking about that.  You fucking—

 

Okay.  Okay.  Calm down.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I barked at you.  One thing quick.  You’re cooling things off, right?  Like I told you?  Goddamn it.  I thought I told you—

 

How much?  Holy shit Davey.  Holy shit.  That is sweet.  Hey.  Let’s not.  Not on this phone.  Tell me about it when you get home tonight.  Okay but listen.  That’s the last one for a while.  You handle that and then we’re gonna cut things dry for awhile.  I mean it.  Okay.  Okay.  Wow.

Mean Gene

Scene 13

(Gene’s apartment, late night)

 

GENE

(watching television)

 

Right.  Gorgeous women waiting to talk to me.  Boy yeah.  I could use some of that.  I could use a big juicy dose.  That’s the look right there.  The eyes.  The wriggling around.  Hoo yeah honey.

 

Billed discretely to your phone bill.  Show me where your tits turn to iron spikes and your cunt becomes a steel trap.  That’s the picture I’d like to see.  Great ass.  That is one great ass.

 

(reaches for phone, dials)

 

Yeah, I want to talk to a dream girl.  Is that you?  A shirt and pants.  But that’s.  Listen, I’m not.  I don’t want to jag off or anything.  Not so fucking fast.  Let’s just talk me and you.

 

You sound pretty.  It’s just me.  Just me talking.  So this is what you do?  Hey.  I’m paying for the fucking call. It’s being billed discretely to my phone bill.  So I can ask you whatever the fuck I want, right?  So I’m asking, is this what you do? 

 

At the riverboats?  That must be decent money.  So this helps a little extra.  No, I’m not a creep.  I’m just talking.  So what’s your name?  No, your real name.  Come on.  Come on.

 

Okay Cashmere.  No, it’s real pretty.  You pick it out yourself?  You know what cashmere is, don’t you?  Yeah, real soft and pretty fabric.  You know where it comes from?  It’s fucking goat hair.  It’s from goats.

 

Because I fucking know.  You named yourself after fucking goat hair.  How sexy is that?  So what’s you’re real goddamn name?  Marta.  Marta.  That’s pretty.  No, it is.  That’s pretty Marta.  Now we’re getting somewhere.  Hang.  Hang on one second Marta, I got another fucking call.

 

Yeah?  Augie you miserable cocksucker.  What the fuck is going on?  What?  Why’d he come and talk to you?  Did you explain?  You said you were gonna explain.  Jesus fuck Augie.

 

He said what?  Listen to me you fat fucking bean eater, you tell him.  You let him know.  This is bullshit Augie.  This is all on you.  You understand me?  You set this up.  My boy is doing good for both of us and it’s on you to straighten this fucker out.

 

So you fucking lie you stupid shit.  You tell him we’re not making so much.  I already told the kid to back off.  Of course he is.  I told him to cool off he’s gonna cool off.  We’re moving even less of what little we were.  What the fuck is that supposed to mean?  Listen, I tell my kid what to do he does it.

 

Fuck you Augie.  So fucking what.  I always been his father.  He knows that.  He understands.  You fix it fat-ass.  You fix it like yesterday I swear to fucking Christ.

 

Yeah, so Cashmere.  So open your fucking mouth.

Mean Gene

Scene 12

(Gene’s apartment)

 

GENE

I need you to do me a favor kid.  I know business has been real good, and you been playing it just like a pro.  We just need to settle things down a little.  There’s a little friction.

 

Nothing you did, kid.  Not at all.  It’s old wounds I’m talking about.  Old wounds.  Just some grudges got kicked up.  Some people I used to work with, they moved on to new things and didn’t appreciate me trying to orchestrate this little comeback.

 

I know I told you it was safe.  I had assurances. There’s nothing to worry about.  But I need to talk to you.  I need to know where your head is at.  You got me?  You’re a bigshot now, right?  It’s nice being a bigshot.  I know.  But you gotta understand Davey, you have to know when to keep your head down. That’s part of the game. 

 

You know, and this is what gets me, is that it’s really such a small piece of the pie.  Your thing and mine.  It’s such a small piece.  I mean, some of these other guys, they really don’t know what’s going on, they only know what they hear in terms of rumor and speculation.  So some word gets on the wind that Mean Gene is back in business, of course they’re gonna think I’m thinking big.  Right?  Makes sense.  I understand where they’re coming from, I do.

 

But, here’s the laugh Davey kid, here’s the laugh.  They don’t know that I’m basically just a citizen now, right?  They think, Gene’s back and so he wants to reclaim all that old Division Street glory, right?

 

I can’t blame them. I really can’t.  What they don’t realize is that it’s really just me and you and Augie, moving really such a small amount.  Just enough to give us some breathing room.  And ain’t things been nice for awhile now?  I mean, the video games and the Honda.  You got lots a girlfriends. It’s nice.

 

So I wanted to talk to you kid.  I wanted to let you know that I’m gonna sort all of this out.  Our little operation, our little enterprise, we don’t need to worry.  Once they understand how penny ante it really is, they’ll leave us alone.

 

I earned a lot of respect back in my day Davey.  I made lots and lots of people fucking rich.  They’ll remember that.  People don’t fucking forget when you take care of them.  Years can go by.  You take care of people and they don’t forget.

 

Just do me this favor.  Tone it down for now.  You know?  Keep it to your regular regulars.  Just a few.  You tell everyone else that things are lean and you’ll get back to them.  I’ll have Augie back down a bit.  We’ll just move enough to stay comfy, me and you. For a few months until this bullshit fades.

 

Remember when we started this caper?  I told you, I said, be smart, use you’re head.  The same goes here kid.  You just need to be smart.  Don’t worry.  Just, right now, I need you to keep being smart and cool.  I know you can do that.  I ain’t worried.

 

Listen.  We’ll get away, me and you.  In a couple weeks.  Catch up on that father-son stuff.  Go fishing.

 

(lights dim)

Mean Gene

Scene 11

(Early morning, coffee shop)

 

GENE

Tom you gotta help me out with this.  Understand that at no point did I even dream I’d be stepping on your toes or anything.

 

Augie comes to me, said he had a juicy setup for me and the kid.  Makes sense right?  Help the kid out, a little extra-curricular activity.  I know I should have checked it out.  I shouldn’t have just taken Augie’s word.  I was just excited about giving the boy a nice little enterprise.

 

So I can get him out Tom.  Really.  There’s not gonna be any need for hostilities or any of that.  Dumb kid had no idea.

 

How long have you had that operation in place anyway?  Never mind, none of my business.  Look, you just gotta know that if I’d a had any notion that it was one of yours, I never.  I mean I should have my head examined, right? 

 

I’m sorry about the bullshit on the phone the other night.  You scared me Tom.  I mean, you’re a bigshot now.  A lieutenant.  Probably gonna be chief of police in a year.

 

So let’s call it even.  I’ll get the kid out.  I’ll tell Augie to go fuck himself, and the whole place is back to being yours like nothing ever happened.  Worst case you had, what, five or six months taking a little hit?  What’s that to a bigshot like you?  I’ll keep tending bar, the kid goes back to being a regular high-school punk, I tell Augie to fuck off and you’re still running the show.

 

Fair enough Tom?  Tommy.  Come on, gimme something.  Crack a smile or toss coffee on me or something.  It’s all set.  It’s all worked out.  We can be friends again, right?  Okay, see you round.  I got the breakfast.

 

Fucking cop.   Fuck you.

 

(lights dim)